Tis the Season

Well it's that time of year again. Our xmas is set to be a very quiet one, just us and the boys.

2007 has been quite a year for me, plenty of highs and lots of lows. It will be interesting to see what's in store for 2008.

Next week won't be easy, it's the first anniversary of losing our little angel. It seems silly sometimes that I only carried Eden for 10 weeks yet I think about her everday. I want to do something special just not sure what. No doubt noone else will remember including my husband, but I guess that's ok as long as I do then she's not forgotten.

One a lighter note, I knocked up a quick digicard and thought I'd share :)

Unbelievable

My baby boy is one month old already! We were in bed yesterday morning and Jack was having 'breakfast' when I realised that it was the 2nd of December. I can't believe how fast it's gone, but at the same time I can't really remember life before my little possum.

Anyway, so I've done my first LO in months and of course baby Jack is the subject. I'm not entirely happy with it but at least I'm getting back in the swing of things

Babe in Arms

Well I'm back and my precious little babe has arrived.

Jack was born two weeks early at 1:15 am on the 2nd of November. He weighed 2820 grams or 6lbs 4oz, was 47 cms long and his head circumference was 33.5 cms. The birth was very fast but without complication and we were able to leave hospital about 14 hours later.

Everything seems to be going well with bub so far, I'm more relaxed with all the technical baby stuff this time I think. I, on the other hand, am feeling a little fragile. I feel a little disappointed and let down by the lack of enthusiasm shown by most of our family and friends. Even after everything we've been through nobody seems interested or as excited about Jack's arrival. It took my own father more than a week after Jack was born to visit us.

I don't know, maybe I expect too much. It's not like I want to talk boobs and baby poop 24/7, but geez it'd be nice to have a few visitors, or have someone ask how we are really doing. I want to show off my little miracle, but nobody seems to have the time for us.

Anyway, that was a little too self indulgent.... on to more important things, here is my special little man

EEEEKK

24 days to go!!!!

I can't believe it's already the end of October. Do you all realise it's only something like 9 weeks to christmas? At least we are 99% ready for the big arrival, though I haven't even thought about christmas. Actually thinking about it now just makes me want to lay down and have a rest LOL.

As I said we're 99% ready for bub. Everything that needs to be washed, has been. The cot is made, I even ironed the sheets would you believe

The only things left to do is to paint the feature wall in the baby's room, find a mat to fit the change table, find a table lamp for bub's room, purchase a monitor and pick up a few final things for my hospital bag. Most of it probably won't get done until after bub arrives, but no matter it'll all get figure out I spose.

Well hopefully I'll get back in here before the big day, if not I'll be back with our little bundle of joy asap.

Sick Kid

Yep, my poor little fella has come down with a cold. And just to make the day even better (NOT) I attempted to take him to a birthday party and we didn't even get halfway there before his motion sickness started. I hate seeing him sick like that, it's so hard to explain it to him. At least I've managed to notice the signs that it's about to occur, which means less panic and stress for him.

Ahh dear, poor little munchkin. All I want to do is cuddle up in bed with him and to make him feel better, but I really don't want to catch his lurgy. I managed to miss the last one he had so we'll see what happens this time, fingers crossed.

Growing Up

I know they have to grow up, but it's just not fair! Brock started kindy yesterday. He had a fairly disasterous trial day at a different centre earlier this year, but he seemed excited about starting at the "new kindy". It all went off without a hitch and he had a great time. Actually when I went to pick him up he didn't want to leave! He eventually decided that he'd come home with me and although he was obviously worn out, he entertained all my questioning.

He spent the day playing outside, doing puzzles and reading stories. His teacher said that he questioned everything that they gave him to eat, but once she explained what it was he was happy. He had a banana muffin for morning tea, which "tasted funny" until Miss Ella told him what it was. He refused to drink his milk at morning tea, stating he doesn't like it (the ONE thing I forgot to tell them) so he had water instead, which was "much better" apparently. At lunch he ate vegemite and strawberry jam, leaving behind his crusts as usual and gave his teacher a look when she asked him to eat them. LOL

All in all he seemed to have a great day and was really excited about going back again today. When I dropped him off this morning, I asked him if he wanted me to stay for a little bit or if he wanted to say goodbye now. He thought for, oh about a half a second and said "no I'll say goodbye now" gave me a kiss and a hug and off he went. As much as it's a little bit sad, feels like the end of his babyhood I guess, I am really happy that he's happy to be there. It certainly makes it easier for me knowing that he's in good care and he's happy.

Anyway, to celebrate the occasion of course I scrapped a page, and here it is.


Credits : Paper, Ribbon and Embellishments from “Lucky Star” free kit by Gina Cabrera of www.digitaldesignessentials.com ; Frames created in Adobe PSE ; Fonts used Kids and Georgia ; Software used Adobe PSE

Memories

Have you noticed how certain smells can trigger a memory? I've always been intrigued by aromas, they seem to have such an effect on me and my favourites can always be linked to a happy memory.

As a six or seven year old I remember the smell that was created when my mum filled out my school tuckshop order. I was only allowed to have a tuckshop lunch once a fortnight and it was a big deal to sit down with mum the night before and decide on my order. She would write my name, class and order on the front of a brown paper bag with a nicko pen. The smelly pen would emit this odour that resembled banana and metho. It would fill the room as soon as she took the lid off. I could still smell it the following day when I was handed my lunch after the tuckshop box had been delivered to the classroom.

When my husband and I started seeing each other I would always wear my 'good' perfume when I was around him. He always to this day comments on the scent and how many wonderful memories he has that are associated with it. It's the same for me and the aftershave that he wears. Every time he wears it I am bombarded by the memories from our early days together and our wedding.

Somebody told me while I was pregnant with our son that there was nothing in this world like the smell of an unborn baby. I never thought they'd be so right. It's such an indescribable aroma and one that I haven't experienced since Brock's was all sniffed out. I'm looking forward to being able to experience that beautiful smell once again.

Today I decided to make a start on all the baby washing that needs to be done before November. I honestly wasn't prepared for the emotions involved in performing such a simple task. As I filled the machine with the first load of terry flats, I thought it funny that I was actually here again, getting our lives ready to welcome another little person into our world. Then once the water had filled I opened the new bottle of Amolin washing liquid and it hit me. This smell that was pure 100% memory filled bliss. As I stirred the liquid through the water, the scent danced around me and my eyes filled with tears at the memories that came flooding back. Tiny baby clothes hanging on the line, then folded neatly in their place waiting to be used. Walking into the room and being confronted by the exact same smell, knowing that I was about to become a mummy. Sitting in the rocking chair in the wee hours of the morning holding this tiny person in my arms and vowing to never forget such precious moments. All this from one simple smell.

This intoxicating scent has taken me back to such a beautiful moment, that I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks remembering all the wonderful moments in those first few weeks with my baby boy. I've never actually wanted to do washing so much in my life LOL

Been a busy girl

Well I've finished off two projects and the recipients see to be very happy with the results which has me tickled pink.

The first are designs for christmas cards for the lovely Fiesty Kel.

As soon as I have the ok to, I'll post pics of the other project.

Back on track

Well I had my first appointment with the hospital Obstetrician yesterday and I must say I feel so much more relaxed. Everything is going well, BP was a little high but still normal considering the 90 min wait to see the doctor. My glucose test came back normal, which was a relief.

Bub seems to be doing well, he's still measuring big and sitting in a breech position. So I got a referal for a scan, which is being done on the 21st. They are going to check his size and various other things. The Dr said I don't need to worry about bub being breech until 37/38 weeks, only then will they try to turn him and if that's not successful, then the only option is a caeser. Not ideal but I guess I don't have to worry about it for another 7 or 8 weeks.

So now everything is back on track and I can get back to worrying about getting everything ready for bub's arrival.

What a let down

Well yesterday (Father's Day) ended up being a shitty day all round I think.

My poor hubby didn't have the nicest father's day. He didn't hear from his eldest son at all, not a card, phone call or even a text message. He was so upset. What made it worse is that it was his first father's day as a grandfather too and his son still didn't bother. I'm so cranky, I feel like ringing him up and giving him what for. The poor guy doesn't deserve to be treated like this, he does everything he can for his kids. It's so hard to have to stand by and watch. But nothing I can say or do will make it hurt any less.

A very dear friend got some news yesterday that she didn't really want and wasn't at all prepared or ready for. Again, nothing I can do or say will make it hurt any less, but gees I wish the people that I care so much about didn't have to endure such heartaches. It sucks, it really does.

Hibernating

Well since my last post I've gone into hibernation mode. I guess I had to chill out a bit, but now I'm back and feeling much better.

There's been all sorts of things going on since then too. I turned 26 last thursday, not as exciting as it sounds. You know it wasn't until I had Brock that I finally realised why my mother never got excited about her birthdays. It's just not a big thing anymore, just another day and another year. I get more excited about B's birthday these days because HE is so excited about them.

Pregnancy wise, the hospital lab lost my glucose test form so I had to re-do the test again this week. Bubby had a few really active days this week, I think he turned around and was head down and took advantage of the extra leg room. Right now he's upside down again with his little feet curled up down my cervix, such an 'interesting' sensation.

Just a few more things to organise for the baby's room, mainly decorations for the walls. They look a bit plain, I'd love to paint on but we're renting so it's not possible. I could just use the wall hanging thingys that match the cot manchester I guess but I kinda wanted to add some of my own touch. I'd love to do a canvas with his name, it's just the design details that's got me stumped.

I've also got to pull my finger out and start washing everything. It'll be weird to see all the tiny outfits and other baby things hanging on the line again. I've been thinking a lot about cloth nappies too, not sure if it's for financial reasons or just because they are cute, but I'm seriously considering using them part time after the first 8 weeks or so. Will have to convince my husband though. I'm sure he's just concerned about getting stuck with the washing, maybe the cost of MCN's also. I'll just do it and he probably won't even notice.

My scrapping world has sort of stalled a bit since the last time I posted too. I've been working on a few things for other people but haven't done much of my own stuff. I have got more excited about at the thought of actually making a career/business out of digital art. I'm finding myself being drawn to web based work, things like logos, web banners and graphics, blog banners etc. I'm certain with practice it's something that I could really be good at. Does that sound a little over confident? Oh well, having such high confidence in myself is a rather rare occurance, so I'll just revel in it while it lasts

Next tuesday is our 3rd anniversary, will be interesting to see if hubby remembers, he's shocking with dates. We've been together for seven years this year, unbelievable really it doesn't feel like that long. It's amazing to think how much has happened and changed in that time.

I've well and truely babbled on today, so with that I'll peal myself away from the computer, it's time to go shopping! I'll make sure it doesn't take me as long to update again next time. Here's a pic or two of my growing bump, just cause I haven't shared it yet.

Change of plans

It seems that my plans for a stress and trouble free pregnancy and birth have gone out the window. In one foul swoop it's all turned to shit. My blood pressure is elevated. Baby is measuring big for gestation, he's also sitting in a breech position which evidently combined with his size could prove a problem sooner than it normally would. My glucose test is "expected" to come back high which will mean a fasting test and yet another trip to the hospital. All this combined with my BMI has shot me from low risk to high risk. So that means I have to see the hospital obstetricians every fortnight from now on, which isn't bad it's just a pain in the bum. The Obs clinic is always running late and with an active four year old in tow, it doesn't exactly make for a low stress trip to the hospital. Add to that the high chances of being admitted for monitoring, the whole situation has just got me stressed out.

After all the stuff that we've been through just to get pregnant, I had hoped that maybe things would be a little easier this time. Now I can't help but feel like it's fallen in a big heap. I told hubby today that I'd had this gut feeling that the end of the pregnancy would go pear shaped, that I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd either go into labour 4-5 weeks early or end up with a c-section, if not both. I know the only thing that matters is the health of our baby and I'll do what ever it takes to make sure he's ok. It just makes life so much more stressful, when things go off course this early. I guess I'm just pissed off that my body always seems to find new ways to let me down time and time again.

NEXT!

One project down, so who's next?

I'm in the process of obtaining a commercial license so that I can use Tracy Ann Designs for my projects. Tracy is an Aussie digital scrap designer, her products are fantastic and she releases new designs all the time. I should be all set with Tracy's license by the end of the week. I'm rather excited to be able to support another aussie in this industry, hopefully I can find a couple more who can offer similar licenses.

On to other things, pregnancy is going well. It's all boring nothing much is happening, just getting bigger. Feels like bub is head up and bum down, I keep getting lots of strong kicks on my bladder and cervix. Some days kicks so hard, I swear he's about to push his foot all the way through. We've just about got everything prepard from bub's room too. All that's left is to wash everything (yuk), but I can't start that this week cause it's raining.

The ratbag is good. No rephrase that, he is well, good is definately not a way to describe him lately. We enrolled him in kindy this weekend, he's very excited about it. I've been able to get much better co-operation with this company. They are very happy to help us ease him in gradually. He's going to start off going for two days a week from 9-12. Once he's settled in to that I'm going to extend his time gradually out to 9-3. Hopefully it will help ease him into a new enviroment. We've only got him booked in for two days this year, we will hopefully add a couple of extra days next year. Seeing as we've decided not to send him to prep next year, I've got over 12 months to prepare the two of us for school. The thought of my boy going off to school scares the crap out of me.

On the scrapping front, I decided to change my size preferance to 8.5 x 11. I guess the main reason was to make it easy and cheaper to print off the pages. I don't really intend to do much of that though, most of my printing will be for gift albums etc. I'm hoping to be able to put the kids layouts into a dvd album, I'm yet to try it though so it may not work.

Anyway, here's another recent LO of the boy. The pick is four years old, they grow too fast!

Splish Splash : Paper from “Splendid” free kit by www.shabyprincess.com ; Elements from “Splish Splash” by Rhonna Farrer for www.twopeasinabucket.com ; Ribbon from “Express Yourself” free kit by Ronna Penner of www.scrapadelic.com ; Fonts used Kids, Century Gothic ; Software used Adobe PSE

Need your help

Ok so I'm going out on a limb here and putting the call out to my blog readers for some help, even though I am convinced that there aren't many of you.

I've received a bit of encouragement from various people to take my digi scrapping a little bit further and offer my talents to other people as sort of a scrapper for hire. So what I'm after is some test customers to go through process and give me some feedback, both on the process and the end result.

Here are a sample list of projects, if you have any other project ideas I'm more than happy to give them a go too.

• Scrapbook pages
• Email/Forum signatures
• Personal website/blog banners
• Photo Christmas Cards
• Birth Announcements
• Christening Invitations
• Birthday Invitations
• Wedding Thank You

So if you are interested here is the process.

1. Send me an email with the type of project, photos and any information that you would like included. I'd also like to know if you want the project to be information or photography based. Please make sure that your photographs are emailed in the best quality possible, this ensures a higher quality end result.


2. I will then give you an estimated time to expect the proofs. I will aim to design 3 different proofs unless you have a very specific style in mind.


3. I will email you the proofs of your project for you to decide which one you like most If there are any changes you'd like to make this will be the time to make me aware so I can refine the design until you are happy with it.


4. Once you have given the ok I will forward the final product to you. Please note that this will be in digital format for you to use as you wish.

If you know anyone else who may be interested, please direct them here.

Email Me

Disconnected

Not sure if it's hormones or a state of mind but I feel disconnected from the outside world. For the last few days I haven't felt like being involved with anyone or anything. Can't be bothered making dinner each night, even eating seems like a chore at the moment. Been feeling really tired too, which probably isn't helping.

I've been having shocking dreams lately, some are quite weird and others leave me feeling so paniced. Over the weekend I had a dream that this tiny little kitten was attacking the feet of my baby. It looked really sweet and innocent but hissed and bit like a bloody feral cat or something, was strange. Then last night I had a dream that my husband passed away 4 weeks before our baby was due, which left me in a panic when I woke up at 4am this morning. I hope that it's all just crazy pregnancy dreams, but geez last night's has really shaken me up.

I've even been a bit slack with the digi scrapping lately. I did manage to squeeze in some time for a quick page a late last week. I should really get cracking and start doing more of Brock's, there are only about a million photos of him over the last four years. But for now here's one about me and hubby. Seems like a lifetime ago that the pic was taken, so much has happened in our lives and it's only been seven years. I keep imagineing all the stories we'll have to tell in another 7 years. Anyway enough babbling, here it is.


Credits : Papers and elements from “Sweet Sprinkles” free kit by www.shabyprincess.com ; Frame created in Adobe PSE ; Fonts used Century Gothic ; Software used Adobe PSE

Out of the mouths of babes

Today I decided we’d go to the shops to pick up a few bits and pieces. Brock had been asking about a specific board game for months and for some reason on the way to the shopping centre today he bought it up again. I reminded him that we’d put it on his list for Santa (along with the other hundred toys that have taken his fancy over the year). He started a mini tanty and to stop him continuing I said we’d look at BigW and see if they had it, knowing they wouldn’t.

So we looked and of course couldn’t find it. So the little ratbag starts rattling off all the places that we should go to in search of this game. Something else caught his attention and talk of the game stopped and I secretly hoped that we would hear about it again. On the way back to the car he bought it up again, asking if we could visit this store and that store on the way home, as if it was a matter of life and death. So bravely I said ‘No, I think we’ll leave it for Santa to try to find’. Well that did it, he decided to chuck a big wobbly in the car park and when I refused to cave in he shouts at me with these big crocodile tears in his eyes and his bottom lip out ‘I want my Daddy’. I’ve been getting this line a lot lately so in a very calm voice I told him that was fine, that Daddy’s work was just around the corner I’d take him there, ‘Good’ was all I got in return.

I’d rung DH to forewarn him of what was about to happen. When we walked into his office there we a couple of others in with him. Once we’d been introduced DH turns to Brock and says ‘So tell me what’s the matter with you?’. Without a second thought, he announces clearly and concisely, in the most clear and matter-of-fact tone, ‘Mummy’s cracked the shits with me’. I nearly died!!! DH and his colleagues thought it was hilarious, one even left the room to get someone else who promptly asked Brock again what mummy did. Of course he obliged his curiosity and announced once again ‘Mummy’s cracked the shits with me’. What amazes me is his accurate use of the phrase. Total in your face reminder that we have to watch what we say around the little ratbag, the obviously has radar hearing and a mind like a sponge.

In baby news, nothing much new to report today except that we are into double digits, YAY. Other than that burst into tears tonight because Brock took off with my glass of water and drank it all. No wonder I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Time flies

A special little boy turns four today, Happy Birthday Finn, I hope this next year is filled with as much fun and adventures as you can imagine.

It's amazing how fast time seems to go by when you've got you head down and bum up in day to day life. There are all these kids around me that seem to be growing and changing at an unbelievable rate. My little ratbag included. Thought I'd take the time last night to reflect a little on just how much he has changed.


Credits : Paper from “Lucky Star” free kit by Gina Cabrera of www.digitaldesignessentials.com ; Frames created in Adobe PSE ; Fonts used Scriptina and Georgia ; Software used Adobe PSE

Oh and speaking of time moving quickly, I caught sight of my pregnancy ticker today. Holy snapping duck shit batman!!! We're down to double digits as of tomorrow. eeeeekk

Let the babble begin!!

So I've finally done it, I've created a blog. Not sure what will end up in here but hey that's how most blogs start, right?

I've got no idea how to make this space all pretty and stuff but no doubt I'll spend the best part of the next two days finding out. I'm sure some kind person will come along and give me a few pointers *hint hint nudge nudge*

Anyway, I'm sure that most of those who'll be reading my mutterings know at least a little bit about me, but just to bore you all again here's a quick run down.

I'm 26, married and a mum of one little ratbag four year old. I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second little boy. We also have a tiny angel watching over us after sadly miscarrying a baby girl last December.

I love to photograph my family and this has turned into a passion for memory keeping. I was recently introduced to the world of digital scrapbooking and I'm officially hooked. This new obsession has also triggered a new interest in graphic design. So you're in for a bit of babble about all that stuff.

So there you go, just a little bit to start with. I could go on and on I spose, but it's probably best to go with the less is more strategy to begin with.